the plague is still here

the month from hell may continue into may. we have been sick since the end of march and now going into may we seem to still be struggling. treb has had a ton of ear infections in his short little life. we are adding another one to the tally board. i need to get an official count from the medical chart but it seems like at least ever 3 months he has one.
we went to the doctor to get a referral for an ENT (ear nose throat specialist) and came out with a Rx for antibiotics. when i stopped at the Pharmacy i had to explain that we had a refferal to see the ent before he would fill the rx since treb has been on antibiotics 3 times in the last month.
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20 minutes later...
we go on may 11. i hope there is no screaming, crying or the like.
for now i continue to declutter the house and try to keep the kitchen neat and not tidy at least keep the cold and flu viruses at bay.
this is getting to the point that i am concerned about bad parenting coming into play. i am in the process of clearingout clutter so that dust and germs can't hang out so much. i think fewer toys out in the play area will be easier to keep clean.
stay well

looking forward...to school

some people wonder how i can even think of sending t1 to preschool. some people (mostly men with no clue) have ideas that if i am a stay at home mom, i have nothing to do but prepare t1 for kindergarten myself (cooking cleaning and taking care of t2 seems to not be part of my day). others think i am horrible for sending a baby who is not talking and not potty trained off with strangers while i am at home (cooking cleaning and taking care of t2).
moms have to do whats right for their family and themselves. right now, preschool is right for us. i am excited! first of all, the school is awesome! they really seem to want kids to catch up with their peers and supply occupational and speech therapy. second, if we don't continue to get him services he will stagnate or, worse, lose skills. we want him to develop normally, not waste the 9 months we had had him work so hard. third, t2 will be getting OT and DT and that is hard with 2 kids at home screaming and hanging off you. finally, if i can keep the schedule we have now, i will have an hour to myself (probably used for heavy cleaning) 2-3 times a week.
the school is called the Early Learning Center and thier male director is really into what he does (a proud papa). we have all of t1's transition things to do in july and he will have about 1-2 weeks of vacation before starting school on august 31.
i wish i could do all this at home and explore his little world with him, but i need help. moms should not feel that they have to do everything and be everything for thier kids. i want him to learn from all kinds of things. if public shools don't work for a mom then they should home school, but if if it works, use it. mamama thinks we should send t1 to a private preschool/daycare. i am sure that this center will be the best thing for him. at the same time that i hope t2 will not need as much help, if he does i am confidient that this choice will be available for us again and he will also benifit from it.

when a good wipe goes...dry

it's was GO time. i had a 2y/o and a 1y/o with poopie-pants. i had a 2t pullup and a size 6 cruiser in one hand and all i needed was a pack of wipes. i spotted the wipes and grabbed the first baby that tried to maneuver past me. the kiddo was in position and i had the 15 second window to get the diaper off, wipe his butt clean and get a fresh diaper installed correctly.
it was all going so well, until i pulled a wipe from the delicate reclosable dispenser. its dry. so i pull another one. WTH??!!?? its dry too. at this point i gently rest my knee on the current victim so i can take a look at the "brick" of wipes.
upon inspection i see that some one had just ripped the back of the wipes open and left them to dry out. are you kidding me? who would have committed such an atrocity in this economy? (no really, between diapers and wipes we are being robbed, ROBBED!) at this point i must allow the baby to go for a few minutes and rewet the wipes before trying again. but the mystery is still nagging at me like i nag hubby on trash day. the only person who could have done it...mamama.
once again, mamama strikes...

really i love my mother, but after having kids there are a few things that really peeve me off. one is incorrectly opend packages. these usually look harmless to the personcommitting the crime, but later someone (usually me) IS INCONVIENCED. now you may ask how dry baby wipes can ruin a week? well, occasionally said wipes are tossed into the diaper bag for an outing. yeah, you got it, its cold, no one is happy, and now, there is a baby with his pants around his ankles waving a poopy bumm in the back of my suv--and i have to use juice or milk to rewet the wipes! i am resourceful. whats a sticky bumm in the grand scheme of things, right? yeah, you got it--diaper rash. so you see how a bit of impatience to correctly open a pack of wipes can ruin a week? right now there are currently about 10 dried out packages of wipes floating around the house. there are 2 correctly closed and moist packages. pray you end up in the rooms with the 2 wet packs!

Just getting started...

i have been thinking a lot about where i want to go with this blog. finally i decided to just get it started. i want people to read this and know about the struggles some people face as new parents. how complicated the emotions we have are. i want everyone to know that i am deeply in love with my husband and i am fiercely and passionately devoted to my babies. i also love my parents and in-laws. with that said, i have become quite impatient since having kids. but no matter what i say about others and how mean i am, i am 500 times harder on myself.
it is truly depressing to be disappointed with yourself on a daily basis. from cleaning to activities with the kids, i never seem to meet my own goals. and truly i don't think the bar is too high. there is a lot going into my ineptitude and complete lack of motivation. i discuss that with my psychologist every 2 weeks.
but for now, know that i appreciate being about to share this adventure with you and i how you don't judge me to harshly.