It's not that I hate Christmas...

It's not that I hate Christmas, but I Hate what it has become for adults.  I remember my mother trying to make this perfect holiday every year.  I remember mom not letting people help put up the tree because she wanted it just so and when we did help,  her fussing about it until we would just leave her to it. I remember  mom sitting up late  trying to get cards out to everyone, even people she did not like.  I remember getting so much stuff that  we would just leave alot of it under the tree in boxes until forced to put it in our rooms because the tree was coming down. 
i am relizing as a mom, christmas is kinda stupid.  It's just this big commercial holiday when we try to out buy all our relatives.  Its a time when I see  toys I want to play with, but cannot figure out how to pull more space out of  our already over stuffed home.  I also relized that i just can't win in a parking lot.  If that other woman is willing to run into me to get her kid toys, she can have them.  I just want to buy groceries!  Don't get me started on cards.  I just don't see a point to them.  I don't feel special about recieving them.  I just happen to still be on your address book.  The hand cramps I get from having to write out addresses is just not worth it.  Sorry if you wanted to get a card,  I get way more warm and fuzzy from recieving a text.  It's cheaper than a stamp, even with a picture.
I can't stand people making me feel like i am a grinch because I don't want to go to a party or get together.  Its all just exhausting to me.  the one thing i liked about the holidays was that we were a nuclear family and we stayed home and spent time with each other.  I am a home body.  Really.
I am not religious, but the holiday we celebrate does not resemble anything like what it should. i am tired of the shopping orgies.  Don't get me wrong I love a good shopping spree (I have never been to an orgy), but a mass of writhing bodies is offensive when encounted at a toystore.   The whole Santa thing annoys me.  I can barely remember to take them for pictures with him.  My kids will be the first to be over it.  Hopefully it does not end up hurting them because I just can't pull it off.
What I am saying is this, I know I can't keep up with the super moms out there, and I am not going to run myself haggard  trying to do things I don't enjoy.  I am going to  try to  get the few things I like in more:
Driving around  with the family looking at christmas lights.
Making hot cocoa for the kids when treb gets home from school.
Getting the kids just a few really nice gifts they will enjoy and not having buyer's remorse later. 
Cuddles when the house gets cold and  little people  want me to keep them warm.
These are some of the most spiritual things I have experienced as a mom.

Sometimes

Sometimes things are good and sometimes they are bad.  That's okay; life would be boring if things always went our way.

Sometimes things are hard and we have to try really hard.  That's ok; we would never know how great we can be if we only did what was easy.

Sometimes people are not as perfect as we want them to be.  That’s okay;  it's our divergence from the norm that makes each person unique.

Sometimes we fail in spectacular fashion.  That's okay; it teaches us how to know our limits.

Sometimes other people fail us.  That's okay;  it teaches us that sometimes our expectations are unattainable.

Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. That's okay;  there are things we just have to do because they need doing.

Sometimes things go really, really good.  That's ok too; it teaches us to persevere.  

My favorite iPhone Apps Screen Time - Media Time Management

This app is a great way to track how much time you, I mean your Kids, are in front of the TV, computer, or hand-held.  I am a tech addict so I use it on myself, because truthfully if I am  on the computer the babytoons are in front of the TV or on my lap making any work (play) difficult for me.

Features I LOVE:

• Add a picture- my kids names both start with the same letter.  I call them by the wrong name 75% of the time.
• Option to earn time- For doing chores, good behavior, and in general Mama just being nice.
• Tracking exactly what they were doing- really there is a difference between watching the Nickjr and Law and Order.  
• Trading time-you can let the kids purchase items or non TV activities by using TV time like money.  Hmmm are new shoes worth 10 hours of TV?
• Overall the options here even allow me to trade TV for sensory activities and keep track of how we are doing there.

How am I using it?
I have set everyone except the Mage to 3 hours.  Mage is above any of my self regulation strategies.
Set a rule that there is no TV before school, yes even me.  Treb is allowed to play his Leapster Explorer in the morning since that is sensory and fine motor.  Tagg and I hang out while he plays.
We  have 3 hours of screen time between 8 am and 8 pm.  We will cut back but gain the ability to earn more time each week.



Basic info about the app
Screentime Lite (free) can track time for 1 person
Screentime ($1.99) unlimited tracking
Web - http://screentimeapp.com
Twitter - http://twitter.com/screentimeapp
Facebook = http://facebook.com/screentimeapp

there's an app for that!

Seriously, I have a problem. I got an iPhone. It great; I LOVE IT. I also love apps. I love looking through apps and reading the comments. Imagining myself using the apps and life being trendy and fun. Then I think about it. A 99 cent app is not going to fix my life. Or my kids issues. I keep my money. I try out free apps and then decide which ones I would like to buy. I think 10 apps on my iPhone would be I ideal. I have about 100. I thought it would be a fun change to stop whining about my kids for a bit and share some of the apps I like. I was not sent these apps to try, I just found them and like them and think they are worth a look.

Pre-School meeting

Yesterday I had a meeting with the Lock's teacher, the school principal and behaviorist. The meeting is because Lock's temperament is in a downward spiral. I have been so concerned with him I gave up my WOW play time at night.
Apparently, Lock's inability to transition from one activity to another is not only an interference at home, but it carries over to school.
Before the meeting I vowed to be aware of body language so I could be in tune with how they were taking my suggestions. I am glad I did. I noticed that the behaviorist moved from a seat across the table from me to a seat diagonal from me.
We went over what The behaviorist observed during his visits and I verified that he does those things at home. Then we talked about what could be going on with him. His first idea was some kind of language delay.
The he dropped the autism spectrum bomb.
I listened. I may have growled. Not because I have anything against autism. I just have fear. So I listened.
I asked the behaviorist if he had looked at Lock's history. No. Needed my permission. I decided that he must be missing information. So I provided some about his language development and the family history of hearing loss, and that Lock has a follow up reguarding hearing loss at the end of the month.
He was surprised. Intrigued!
I told them that I had been reading Dr. Ross Greene's book the explosive child.
The principle and behaviorist leaned back and folded thier arms. The behaviorist asked me if I saw the author's material on changing school discipline policy's. I told him right now I was only concerned with the Lock. Both men relaxed and leaned back in.
To finish up the meeting I agreed to allow Lock back on the bus when the Druid starts school. They agreed to wait until I talk to the ENT and get hearing tests back before they make more changes. I am not sure if this was a sucessful meeting or not.

Changes Part 1

I have not posted in some time.  There were lots of ideas, but  a lack of time and mental energy (mana). 
Things got really wild and out of control the last few weeks; So wild that i  decided to stop playing WOW.  for those of you who don't know me well, that is HUGE.  WOW is about the only hobby I have. 
Here's what happened:
Over winter break we let our routines slip.  not huge for most families, but for special needs families that is the number one rule.  I had not realized how grounded in routine the little Lock is.  The Druid is not as  grounded in them and actually thrived on this lax schedule. I did not really see what was happening until the day the Priest went back to work.  the lock lost it.  BIG TIME.
From the trip to take Priest to lunch, to snack time, until Priest got home (over an hour late i might add).  I can take tantrums, but the constant stream of WHINING got to me.  I lost it.  BIG TIME.
Not my best mothering moment--or hour--day even.  I screamed.  For an hour.  I said  things I regret.  the Lock went to school 2 days later and repeated those words using his teacher's names.  Then each day got worse at home and at school.  A week later, he bit the teachers aide. 
By now I noticed that I am handling this all better than I would if  I were raiding 4 hours the nights before.  so i talked to the Guild and explained and felt them all turn away from me.  I will get over that.
This leaves us (his teachers and providers and parents) trying to figure out how to help (not fix) the lock. 

Test post

Trying to find a program for iPhone. Still looking.