toddler psychosis

waking up late messes everyone up. to be honest i miss the days when waking up late just meant being late for work. usually i recovered very quickly by skipping a shower and driving 15 mph over the speed limit. gone are the good old days.
now waking up late means 2 grumpy short people will great me with over wet diapers and ravenous appetites. i generally use the kids as my alarm, but every now and then they play quietly for 20 or 30 minutes. but today i overslept by a whopping 55 minutes? are you kidding me? i over slept by almost an hour. granted we have all been sick for about a week, but i cannot be blamed for them not making enough noise to get me up.
so who can i give the blame stick to? hubby. that man for once got up on time to go to work. yes you heard me right. ON TIME. he was up at 6 15 am. i did not have to kick him or threaten him with the wrath of doom for him setting the clock at some ungodly hour. (ungodly being any time before 6 am.)
lets move on. i get up, and just to save a few minutes skip my shower bringing up memories of having a "real" job and was my face and pits. silence. i fight down first the urge to go back to bed, then the panic of SIDS. donning the game face and voice i knock on the warlock's door, "good morning, BABY." apparently i was not the parent of choice because instantly i hear "DADA!" and the warlock tantrum began. upon lifting the boy up i found he had over wet his pull up and was dripping. the next 15 minutes made my ovaries shrink. i contemplated jumping out of the window 2 times but realized i would only break my legs and have to lay in the yard until some one found me. i got the little man dressed and escaped to let him work it out on his own.
entering the druid's room, i found a happy toddler wearing 1/2 a diaper. (mental note: the kids need size 6 pullups) the warlock decided that a tantrum is pointless with out an audience to torture and came in to share his utter displeasure with the world. the druid was speechless and stood on the dresser with his mouth open. mom guilt set in and i picked the warlock up and tried to soothe him, quickly discovering that he had vomited and was about to do it again. PANIC. it took every bit of will power in me not to push him away. i just grabbed a blanket.
longest 4 seconds of the day...watching him vomit on my shoulder, chest and arm. i thanked all that was good and pure my hair was spared (have you ever tried to get vomit out of pencil sized curls with out washing it?)
the day got better, but i did spend 30 minutes showing the kids pictures of water towers on flickr. now the house is quiet...one is asleep the other at school...and i am thinking of taking a nap, but the fear of oversleeping again is keeping me up.