Blurring the line.
About a week ago I had to pull myself away from WoW for a bit because I let too much of my business get out to players that don't KNOW me and because one of my closest friends kept saying that "Clara" from The Guild is like me. Maybe I over reacted, but I waited until I calmed down to say something. I was appalled that my husband did not stand up for our parenting skills and our kids. He said he was not paying attention. It's not like we were in a boss fight at the time.

"One week with me and I would fix your kids."
"You need to be more consistent."
"When you take them out you need to beat them before, during and after ."

Are you kidding me? This guy is a lunatic.

Ok so let's address all these issues in a bulleted list.
• The only things that "Clara" and I have in common is that we play and mmorpg and we have kids. I realize she is a caracature of gaming moms, but I find it an insult to be compare to her in any way. Since the Lock was born I have had some rules that are rarely broken.
1. KIDS' NEEDS COME FIRST.
2. No instances/pug runs during "work hours". This include guildies who text me.
3. Only activities like farming mats and organizing the guild bank are acceptable during "work hours".
4. If I am not ok with the kids watching me do it, then I do not do it while they are awake. This rule can be applied to many real life activities including but not limited to WoW and eating cupcakes.
• I belong to a guild that clearly puts real life and family first. Many a raid has been stopped due to crying babies and toddlers Because KIDS' NEEDS COME FIRST.
• Fix kids? Seriously. Anyone who thinks a child can be fixed should be fixed (spayed or neutered) themselves. Yeah lets go out and fix some kids. Is your child autistic? This guy is your answer. Your kid will probably come back with bruises, but hitting akid for any offense is worth it! (sarcasm)
• Consistent? Yup I would say we are consistent. So do the therapists that treat my kids for developmental delays. The definition of discipline is "to teach". And if a child has learning delays it's just going to take longer and in the process the parents will get frustrated.
• I rarely spank or otherwise hit my kids. I am not going to get into that now, because that is very touchy, but hitting a child as the main form of discipline in not acceptable.
From this I learned a few things. I need to be more careful of who I talk to about my family. Vent about your day to your wowbff in whisper and always check the online list. It is important to let people know what you find insulting before you hear it 20 or 30 times, so a friendship is not ruined. (Cuddling with the Druid now.)

Sensory mess, emotional mess

Today the druid has just been an absolute sensory mess. Looking over the last week there were a number of things that contributed to it. His diet was shot on the Fourth of July and Priest wants me to stop letting him nap. Finally, yesterday he was out all day with the grandparents. So today I end out with a child that is running around in circles unable to focus on anything. We spent some time in the yard early this am, but he was not to happy to be taken back inside when I got bored of watching him run around. From there we had some fruit and milk (almond milk for him and coffee for me). Druid does not like meat but I was able to convince him to have a bit of bacon. Next up speech. He was talkative, but tried to escape every 5 minutes. After that a break, wait for big brother, then OT. By now he was over tired and horribly unregulated. She went through all the sensory things he has ever responded to, then tried a few new ones. Finally his hour was up and she just sighed. He was still keyed up and the only thing left to try was a nap.
Mean while my ability to cope went out the window. I am not as tired as normal, but I am hungry. (pause to cry a bit more) after 2 years of being told that I am overreacting and looking for drama with my kids I am just emotionally exhausted.
"They are just active little boys."
"I don't have any trouble with them when I watch them."
"You are just looking for things to be wrong with them."
I am horribly depressed. We have no diagnosis for the oldest. He is just "delayed" and headstrong. The youngest is delayed because of SPD, but can only function well when he is regulated. Between the two of them I am fighting and constantly trying to regulate them.
The only people I know that understand are online. My husband does not even see it. All he sees is that I am always trying to sleep and the house is a mess. I am a mess. Today it just finally burst. I have been sitting here crying for 1/2 an hour. I feel like a failure. Although I know you will all tell me I am not and I am doing fine, you all know exactly where I am.

Potty Quest Line

I have spent hours on quest lines in game. I have ground and farmed rep for all the factions of Wrath of the Lich King in World of Warcraft. I have died numerous times by the hands of raid bosses. But I cannot get this potty training quest line done. We have tried to just be patient. We have tried rewards. We have tried threats. Now we are trying grabbing him and making him sit there because we KNOW he will have to pee-pee soon. all of these have such a high fail rate that we need to replace the carpet in the lock's sanctum and the family room with hard flooring. I have also come to the conclusion that carpet is one of the most disgusting household items ever. I try to think of this as a repeatable quest. We have a successful turn in every time he fills the potty and the floors and his clothes remain dry.

• 1/1 Filled Froggy Potty
• 1/1 Dry pants
• 1/1 Take Along Thomas Train

-----------------------------------------------

You will receive:

• 10 minutes of not hovering over Lock, and a chance to get
• ACHIEVEMENT: Potty trained babytoon (10 points)

So where is my quest reward? Why am I losing rep with the lock? This does not make sense.

So we plug along at it. When weekends come l just want to wash my hands of it; let the Mage deal with it. I have fought with Lock for 5 days and have seen ABSOLUTELY NO IMPROVEMENT. I need an attitude adjustment I guess. I need my own quest rewards because I have to do this with the druid when I get done with the lock.

Water play

Step 2 WaterWheel Activity Play Table

A few weeks ago we had 80 degree weather. Seriously. In Illinois. During early April.
So it was hot. Kids were going stir crazy, but I needed something to keep them in the yard.
Last year the kids got a sand and water table from loving GM. We tried sand in it last year, but between them tracking the sand into the house in their clothes and my aversion to sand on the bottom of my feet that just did not work. We tried just water.

SOLD.

After slathering on the required SPF 60 for my fair skinned angels of destruction. It dries up. It goes away. Mommy did not exist to them for sixty (60) minutes. If they eat it they won't die. Dries up. They actually come out a bit cleaner after! They were tired at 6 pm. Seriously.

I'LL TAKE 2!

for those looking for this table here is the new version of it.

Is my blog really ME?

I woke up today thinking about my blog. wondering if anyone is still out here. My thought was why don't I write in it often? After a few minutes of lazing about while the hubby got dressed a new question popped up: "what should I write about?" some of the topics that I like to discuss are my perceptions of parenting and motherhood, my kids special needs, and my video game addiction. The first two actually depress me, and the third gets me excited.

If you want to get me started just start talking World of Warcraft with me. I will go on for hours about it.. it's just a BONUS if you play too. But do I want to Blog about my adventures in Azeroth? What does that say about me? Do I need to put up a front for the few people that read my blog that know me in real life? Am I still concerned about this all getting back to my family? Should I be?

Does it say something really bad if you are a mom that does not want to blog about your kids? Right now I just have trouble facing all my mothering issues. It's easier to look at what I see are my shortcomings and think, "if this were WoW I could just…" It's kind of like on The Guild when Codex's avatar has to tell her to stop thinking like she does in real life and think like she is in game. Seriously, I am a healer most of the time in-game. Who needs a better role model for mothering.

Anyway, I do spent many of my most enjoyable hours saving Azeroth for the clutches of evil, but I never let my kids needs go too long while I play. I really enjoy making up stories about what Druci is doing on the screen while the boys sit on my lap. I also have rules in place for playing during mothering hours. You have to have limits and clear rules in your parenting.

After thinking it over and writing about it here I think I will play round with wow ideas on here more. And maybe every now and then I can share a bit of what's going on with the baby toons. Thanks for helping me work through that! md

Allergy accusations

ATM: kids are in the living room and I am in the lower lvl. I can here druid babbling to himself and lock is pretty quiet. I think he is playing with a puzzle or some cars, but at last check he was laying under a blanket on my favorite chair. He is coughing and lethargic.

Hubby finally admitted that the lock gets sick almost every time we go to his parents house. Now we have to decide how to handle it. The problem is more likely the smoke than the dog. The bigger problem is that I don't want to make MIL angry and insult her housekeeping skills. I mean what can she do if her husband won't stop smoking in the house? It's actually pretty heartbreaking that hubby will leave me and the kids at home and go there to bond with his dad and watch foot ball. It goes into my problem of not having much off time most weeks. That's another problem for another entry.

I have had to limit the visits to my parents house because of the dust and general lack of baby proofing. But for me it's harder to tell his family that. At this point I am going to have to put Lock's health first. I don't want him to have to get allergy injections like some kids. He is allergic to dust mites and it would seem cigarette smoke. (mental note to get lock and appointment with allergist**done). I guess I am the only person that takes this seriously. Ok, maybe not, my mom worries more about it than I do. Yet another problem for another entry.

So I need to come up with a way to make myself happy. Here is what I want to accomplish:

Lock needs to avoid things that make him sick (this is my responsibility)

Want kids to know their grandparents and spend time with them

For today I have given him his Allegra and a dose of Motrin. In an hour will check his temp and decide about school. He seems to be perking up and not very drippy but the warmth still persists. And he is ready to go.

toddler psychosis

waking up late messes everyone up. to be honest i miss the days when waking up late just meant being late for work. usually i recovered very quickly by skipping a shower and driving 15 mph over the speed limit. gone are the good old days.
now waking up late means 2 grumpy short people will great me with over wet diapers and ravenous appetites. i generally use the kids as my alarm, but every now and then they play quietly for 20 or 30 minutes. but today i overslept by a whopping 55 minutes? are you kidding me? i over slept by almost an hour. granted we have all been sick for about a week, but i cannot be blamed for them not making enough noise to get me up.
so who can i give the blame stick to? hubby. that man for once got up on time to go to work. yes you heard me right. ON TIME. he was up at 6 15 am. i did not have to kick him or threaten him with the wrath of doom for him setting the clock at some ungodly hour. (ungodly being any time before 6 am.)
lets move on. i get up, and just to save a few minutes skip my shower bringing up memories of having a "real" job and was my face and pits. silence. i fight down first the urge to go back to bed, then the panic of SIDS. donning the game face and voice i knock on the warlock's door, "good morning, BABY." apparently i was not the parent of choice because instantly i hear "DADA!" and the warlock tantrum began. upon lifting the boy up i found he had over wet his pull up and was dripping. the next 15 minutes made my ovaries shrink. i contemplated jumping out of the window 2 times but realized i would only break my legs and have to lay in the yard until some one found me. i got the little man dressed and escaped to let him work it out on his own.
entering the druid's room, i found a happy toddler wearing 1/2 a diaper. (mental note: the kids need size 6 pullups) the warlock decided that a tantrum is pointless with out an audience to torture and came in to share his utter displeasure with the world. the druid was speechless and stood on the dresser with his mouth open. mom guilt set in and i picked the warlock up and tried to soothe him, quickly discovering that he had vomited and was about to do it again. PANIC. it took every bit of will power in me not to push him away. i just grabbed a blanket.
longest 4 seconds of the day...watching him vomit on my shoulder, chest and arm. i thanked all that was good and pure my hair was spared (have you ever tried to get vomit out of pencil sized curls with out washing it?)
the day got better, but i did spend 30 minutes showing the kids pictures of water towers on flickr. now the house is quiet...one is asleep the other at school...and i am thinking of taking a nap, but the fear of oversleeping again is keeping me up.